


Not Jane!

by scratches



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Drinking, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Food, Gen, One Liners, Other, Ridiculous, Text Messages, Tropes, johnny storm sucks, pic spam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-08-10 00:02:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 109
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7822432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scratches/pseuds/scratches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Text messages accidentally being sent to the wrong (but sometimes the right) person between Darcy and other members of the Avengers Team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darcy Clint 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Texts From Avenger's Tower](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6775150) by [Dragongoddess13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragongoddess13/pseuds/Dragongoddess13). 



> Pretty much what you see is what you get.

JANNNNNNEEEEEE  
I need some tempura battered ice cream.

_Not Jane try Moxie’s ice cream in wyantskill_

Sry clint.  
Thats two hours away

_make some_

V.drunk dude.

_And?_

…...truths.


	2. Darcy Tony FRIDAY

Why did you write 17 equations on a napkin?

_Not Jane._

Why did she write 17 equations on a napkin tony? WHY.

_IDK she’s jane._

**She couldn’t reach any paper**

Thanks FRIDAY


	3. Darcy Steve

Let’s drink tequila.

_Who is this?_

This isn’t Jane?

_No, this is Steve._

Fuck. This is Darcy.  
Lewis.   
`Darcy Lewis.

_How’d you get this number._

Tony upgraded my phone and thought it would be funny to mess with my contacts.

_Well, definitely not Jane._

Want to drink Tequila?

_You ask strangers this often?_

Yep. So, what do you say?

_Can I bring some friends?_

Only if I can bring some too.

_Deal. I’m guessing you are at the Tower?_

Yessir

_I’m in brooklyn. Where do you want to meet._

IDK. Last i heard you were banned from the tower. 

_Yeah. If you know Tony, and if Jane is Thor’s Jane, I’m guessing you are an alright kind of gal. You can always come here._

Thor’s coming. So is Jane.

_Here’s my address. Ask Thor to bring the good stuff._


	4. Darcy Natasha

Goddamn Barnes is a fox.

_Not Jane._

FUCK. I thought I fixed all my contacts.


	5. Darcy Jane

Who do you think would win a wet Tshirt Contest, Barnes or Rogers?

_DARCY  
Rogers_

What, why?

_He’s has abs on his abs._

Fuck.

_But barnes has sexy legs._

I’m telling thor.


	6. Darcy Thor

WHY DOES HE WALK AROUND WITHOUT A SHIRT

_I DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, LADY DARCY, BUT I AM SURE IT IS BECAUSE IT IS FOR COMFORT._

Oh. this isn’t Jane.

_SHE IS NEXT TO ME.  
LADY JANE SAYS IT IS BECAUSE HE IS A TEASE.  
IF THIS IS ABOUT SGT BARNES I WILL HAVE TO AGREE  
COURTSHIP ON MIDGARD IS ODD_

..there is no courtship Thor.


	7. Darcy Bucky

Fml fml fml I ruined my jeans.

_Not Jane._

Fuck


	8. Darcy Sam Bucky Natasha

Darcy _Sam_ **Bucky _Natasha_**

Jane. I am stranded in the fucking bathroom and someone is SHOOTING THE FUCKING DINER UP.

_Not Jane.  
What’s your 20?_

10th and 1st

**Fuku is not a diner.**

At Momofuku, tyvm

**Please tell me you grabbed the pork buns before hiding in the toilet, Lewis.**

Duh.

_Seriously Right now._

Ever have them? No? STFU, get here, and i will feed them to you.

_Wtf Lewis._

You too. Whomever rescues me first gets a bun.

_**Hurry up, gentlemen.** _


	9. Darcy Clint

I just hand fed natasha pork buns

_Not Jane_

Duh.

_Well, congratulations._

She told me that beating barnes was the highlight of her week

_She likes besting her trainer.  
And teasing him.  
I saw the video.  
You were in that tiny blue number.  
She was in leather._

Yeah, im gonna put it in the spank bank too, clint.

_Barnes is too._

CLINT.


	10. Darcy Scott

I’m going to kill tony.

_Um. Not jane?_

No, this was for you, contact labled Ant Man in my phone.

_Yeah I was told to reply with Not Jane if someone from this number texted me._

_Wanna team up?_

What can you do?

_Get coffee, interpret science scribbles. Put Thor in a Tshirt, and feed scientists._

_Why would you ever want to put Thor in a Tshirt?_

I KNOW RIGHT?


	11. Darcy Steve 2

MY FUCKING OVARIES.

_NO. DARCY NO. NO._

THERE IS SO MUCH PAIN

_NOT JANE._

I RUINED MORE JEANS

_STOP  
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD  
STOP_

Oh. sorry steve.

_Want to drink tequila?_

How about a gallon of ice cream?

_My place?_

You like vanilla?

_Not my fave.  
But it is Bucky’s._

Fuck you steve

_I don’t think you’re suppose to talk to captain america like that_

Fuck you steve.


	12. Darcy Sam

DAYYYYYUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM JANE. UNG

_Not Jane.  
Did Tony fuck with your contacts again?_

Nope. v.drunk.

_Tequila or Whiskey. I want to know what kind of Darcy to expect stumblin into the facility_

Ooooh ho ho ho You think I’m not already there?  


_Did you put a filter on him?_  
_How did you get to brooklyn?  
_ _WTF he doesnt make me breakfast._

He’s making ~Varză a la Cluj~  
Says itll sober me up.  
I think he just wants make me vomit  
I hate cabbage

_Yeah you can have it. ~cabbage~_

Oh i will ~have it~yabbbooooyyyy


	13. Steve Darcy

_Stop texting sam  
Stop taking filtered pics of Bucky. He can hear the camera clicking._

But he’s so cute, steve

_You’re drunk._

He’s still cute.


	14. Darcy Bucky 2

WTF WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SHOOTING RESTAURANTS I AM IN. I AM GOING TO KILL JOHNNY STORM AND HIS DOUCHE PARADE.  
IM UNDER A FUCKING TABLE JANE. UNDER A FUCKING TABLE AT FUCKING LA BERNARDIN

_We’re enroute._

Fuck that was for jane. I already texted Tony.

_I know, doll.  
Save anything once the shots went down?_

I have my Pavlova  
And my date’s Apricot thingy.   
I think he peed himself.

_ETA two minutes_


	15. Darcy Jane

I fed him a half smashed dessert at La Bernardin, Jane.

_Didn’t you go there with…..Daryl?_

Damien.  
He peed his pants.

_Lol. srsly?_

Dead seriously. Looked scandalized when he picked me up from under the table and dusted me off.

_Did you decide on the black and red flower dress?_

Yeah man. It has a rip up the side now.

_Bet Barnes wasn’t scandalized._

Fuck you, jane.

_Can you get me a bubble tea before you come in? I have those pastries from the place near momofuku for you._

Yoooooooooooooo


	16. Natasha Darcy

__  
Look what we have here.  
And here  
  
Go to bed 

There was a science bender this week.  
Will it be weird if i saved that pic of them?

_No. please do.  
He already saved yours._

Ihu


	17. Darcy Scott 2

You drink Tequila? 

_Not Jane  
That’s a stupid question_

I’m outside your room. Open up.

_Who even are you.  
Oh you’re cute_


	18. Sam Scott

Winter Soldier incoming.

_Why?_

Darcy. Tequila. You. Alone.

_Oh…. someone has a crush.  
She does too.  
She’s waxing poetic about his pecs._

She does that.

_She seriously thinks he would win a wet tshirt contest._

Against who?

_Everyone._

Even Thor?

_Especially Thor._

HA.


	19. Steve Bucky

Ihu steve


	20. Darcy Bucky 3

Jane are you kidding me right now. I walked into the diner and this was happening. Why was this happening?  
  
 _  
Not Jane._

Oops.

_Why was this happening the other night?_   


I WILL NOT EXPLAIN MY LOVE OF CHAMPAGNE TO YOU.  
Ask Wilson. Since he was the one standing in front of you.

_Put your phone down, Darcy_

Nope. bc then I’d have to look you in the eye.


	21. Darcy Tony

He’s such a fox, Jane.  
Ung.  
I touched his pecs.  
And his back  
And his buns

_JESUS STOP RIGHT THERE, TITS. I DON’T WANT TO KNOW._


	22. Natasha Darcy 2

_Did you do the thing behind his ear that he likes?_

NATASHA.

_Just asking._


	23. Darcy Steve 3

  
Jane how is this real life?

_Not Jane.  
Glad it’s going well._

Thanks steve.


	24. Bucky Steve

I can’t wait to see you later  


_NOT DARCY_

….sorry steve.


	25. Darcy Bucky 4

_Accidently sent this to steve_   


  
Ready

_The things you do to me, doll  
Who took that_

Natasha. Shes a good bro


	26. Natasha Bucky

You’re a good bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ignore the blonde. ignore the url. b/c.... google. im lazy


	27. Darcy Thor 2

JANE CAN WE PLEASE MEET UP AND DRINK TEQUILA. THIS IS A CODE PINK AND GREEN

_THIS IS THOR, LADY DARCY. JANE IS ASLEEP_

….THOR THIS IS A CODE PINK AND GREEN.  
HELP.


	28. Darcy Bruce

Jane. I want to say it.

_Not jane.  
She’s in the lab though. _

Fml. sorry bruce

_Also, you should say it._


	29. Darcy Scott 3

THIS IS REAL LIFE JANE  


_THIS IS REAL LIFE DARCY_   


Oops. sorry scott  
I want that in my mouth

_I’m telling Barnes_


	30. Darcy Jane 2

Stole your dog. Mwa hahaha  


_Not Clint_

Sorry jane

_So cute though_


	31. Darcy Clint 3

Two of my fave things  


_...I would say this isnt jane, but why the fuck do you have my dog?_

What chu gonna do?


	32. Bucky Clint

Yeah what you going to do?  



	33. Natasha Darcy 3

_We are on an op_   


 

……….that doesn’t seem very undercover

_This does though_   


WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THAT


	34. Darcy Tony 2

I HAVEN’T RUINED MY JEANS YET

_Go you. Also not jane._

Thanks tony.


	35. Darcy Jane 3

Jane. 

_Darcy._

I didn’t have my lady times for 2 months.

_Uh oh.,..._

I just ruined my favorite pair of jeans.

_Congrats._


	36. Darcy Bucky 5

MY UTERUS

_…..I am sitting right next to you_

That was for jane

_I know. ;)  
Want me to take care of it for you?_

Yes.


	37. Darcy Jane 4

He sexes the cramps out of me jane.

_He also makes you coffee every morning_

I know Jane. I KNOW

_You say it yet_

I’ve known and i want to.

_You don’t need to wait for the perfect time so stop over thinking it because we all know you have been_

Wtf jane

_What. Bruce is a gossip_


	38. Bucky Jane

She Said It.  
Steve. I said It Back.

 

_Not Steve._

Sorry Jane

_I’m happy for you though_


	39. Bucky Steve 2

How’d I get so lucky, Steve  


 

_Are you at Bartons farm?_

Picking his pig up at the vets

_...a pig?_


	40. Darcy Clint 4

_He’s her new favourite avenger isn’t he?_

YUP  
Also I got your pig!  



	41. Darcy Tony 3

I love you

_I love you too_

Sorry Tony

_you don't love me?_

debatable


	42. Darcy Jane 5

Don't listen to Tony  
I don't love him as much as I love you

_Not Bucky_

Fuck. But I love you too, Janey

_I know. xoxoxoxox_

Do you want some pork buns?

_is that a real question?_


	43. Darcy Everyone

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME OUT HERE  
SOME JERK SANDWICH IS MAKING IT SO I CAN'T BUY CRONUTS.  
ARE YOU KIDDING ME  
IF I SEE JOHNNY STORM I'M GOING TO PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK


	44. Darcy Bruce 2

_I heard you punched Johnny Storm in the dick_

Yup.

_DARCY SMASH_

Thanks boo boo


	45. Darcy Bucky 6

_I love you_

I love you too  
I miss you

_I'm bringing you whiskey cherries_

Are you in spain?

_Classified_


	46. Darcy Natasha 3

Where are you?

_I'm not telling_

I'm going to ask steve

_I took his phone away_

I'll ask Jane.

_Thor doesn't have a phone_

Jane says you're in Spain

_Thats Classified_


	47. Darcy Scott 4

Guuuuuuuuuuuh  
Jane.  
I wanna surprise him with like.. cute lingerie 

_Not Jane_

Dammit.

_I know he likes purple on you though  
Ayyyyyyye_

This is why I like you more than Tony


	48. Bucky Jane 2

_What do you get a dame that doesn't like diamonds?_

This is jane

_Fuck. that was for steve_

Darcy likes pearls

_She's a classy dame._

HA


	49. Darcy Tony 4

Stole your car  


_If you have sex in the back seat, please don't leave your panties this time.  
Pepper was not impressed_

She asked we where I bought them though


	50. Darcy Natasha 4

_incoming!_

 

_Darcy_

 

 

 

_Darcy_


	51. Jane Natasha

She has a 103 degree fever  
and drank a bottle of nyquil

_Barnes is worried_

I am too


	52. Wanda Darcy

_I am distressed that you do not text me often_

Girl. You know I don't mind you in my head.

_I try not to go there any more after the chocolate syrup incident_


	53. Darcy Steve 4

Jane Bucky is being fucking weird.

_Not Jane_

Why the fuck is bucky being weird steve

_language_

Oh so it's like that


	54. Darcy Clint 5

_I love you_

Not Laura...or your kids.

_at least it wasn't a dick pic_

But I've seen your dick before

_and Laura's seen your boobs_

I know that because she keeps looking at them when i visit...and not that i care... but how da faq?

_Natasha is a good bro... they wouldn't share with me_

Ohhhh. so thats the mild Natasha wanted to share them with

milk

milf


	55. Darcy Everyone 2

PEOPLE.

 

LOOK WHAT BUCKY GOT ME


	56. Sam Steve Natasha Clint Scott

Sam _Steve_ **Natasha _Clint_** Scott

 

Annnnnnd Who was expecting a kitten

_Not me_

**_Yep...i thought he bought a ring_ **

**He did buy a ring**

and a pregnancy test

What the frig.... -___-

_I'm going to have words_

**Keep you language clean, Steve**


	57. Darcy Everyone 3

Since you're all nosy as fuck  
I ruined my favorite pair of shorts this morning.  
Thanks assholes

_you need to start tracking that_

Natasha... it's never been regular

_birth control?_

IUD

_ahhh_


	58. Darcy Tony 5

Beep Beep  
I've got the keys to the jeep

_Not Jane_

Oh shit. She's suppose to meet me for tequila shenanigans

_Where is my invite?_

I invited Pepper

_ladies night_

Yep. You still want to come along?

_uh. duh_


	59. Bucky Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are some feels here

Is that 2 months salary still relevant?

_I thought you already bought a ring?_

I did.. but I just don't know if it is good enough

_She'd be happy with a plastic ring from a gumball machine  
or a ring pop  
or an onion ring_

How'd I get so lucky

_IDK man. probably god making up for 70 years of shit_

Thanks sam.


	60. Natasha Darcy 4

_They are so happy together it makes me want to smile, Bruce_

Not bruce

_oops_

Bruce likes your smile


	61. Darcy Clint 6

Jane!!!!  


_Not Jane  
Fucking finally  
He spend more money on the ring or your nails? _

Probably my nails :) :) :)  
Don't open your big mouth, Clint

_Too late  
Laura is really happy for you_


	62. Darcy Bucky 7

I'm scared

 

You said you'd be fine

 

Natasha said you'd be fine

 

 

You're still not awake

 

Wanda told me you're thinking about me

 

I wish you'd wake up

 

Lucky was here today visiting you. Cupcake Von Fluffington doesn't like to leave your medical room

 

Vision said he felt you trying to wake up but don't push it

 

I hope my chatter about Jane's research and you know.. the wedding.. and like.. how much I miss your arms around me and my tears havent bored you. Wanda says you can hear us and its been helping you


	63. Darcy Bucky 8

_Cookie, I'd like nothing more to wrap my arms around you right now  
I'm sorry I scared you  
Steve and Sam talked about you punching Johnny storm in the dick again  
You're too good for me_

I love you


	64. Clint Natasha

_So who is going to make sure Jane is going to eat now that Darcy has literally locked herself in Barnes' quarters for the oooh... next year_

**Clint.....this is.... actually a very valid question**


	65. Darcy Steve 5

Jane  
Why is Johnny Storm fighting a slime-borg outside of Kat's delicatessen?

_Seriously? Again?  
Also not Jane_

I have a pastrami sandwich?

_save me half_


	66. Darcy Wanda 2

I'm dying

_It's a natural monthly thing  
Jane would be glad to know that your uterus is still working correctly  
would a photo of Bucky help?_

His dick would

_......I could probably arrange a photo of that_


	67. Bucky Steve 3

Wanda told me to send this

_THIS IS NOT DARCY BUCKY SO DO NOT SEND WHATEVER YOURE ABOUT TO SEND_

Well, I'm glad I'm a slow texter


	68. Bucky Jane 9

BBBBBUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSS

_Not Darcy_

Oh. Hello, Bucky.  
You have a nice butt.   
I'm looking at all of the butts.

_Is Darcy with you?_

Yes.

_Why didn't you just tell her this_

inside joke?  
She still thinks you'd win a wet tshirt contest against thor

_LOL YEAH RIGHT_

THATS WHAT I SAID


	69. Natasha Bucky 2

She loves you  
  


 

_Natasha.. You are kind of a creep  
Darcy's words not mine_

she already knew this


	70. Darcy Steve 5

Do you think your mom would have liked me?

_She would have been happy Bucky was happy_

Eeep. Sorry steve.

_but yes, she'd see your big heart and they way you cared for her boy and would ignore your profanity because you have that timeless love she liked to read about in her down time_

You're not just saying that?

_No. Not only her, but his sisters would have looked up to you. You're a strong passionate woman_

Thanks

_And they would all laugh because bucky found the one skirt who can't dance_

Seriously steve?


	71. Natasha Clint

_Why do they have my dog???_


	72. Darcy Jane 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the giant photo
> 
> but not really

Got your dog!  


 

_Not Clint.. but omg. Cupcake Von Fluffington and Pizza dog !!!!!!! mwaaaa_

Oops, sorry Jane

_Are we getting dinner?_

Already grabbed Thai

_Yay!_


	73. Darcy Sam 2

Will you take me to dance classes?

_Not Bucky_

I know.

_And why are you asking me_

I want to surprise him

_Natasha wants to go too_


	74. Darcy Tony 6

Jane. Why the friggin crap does this keep happening.

_You already texted me about those weirdos attacking the village_

Why can't I just get chimichangas in peace, Tony?

_Multiple?_

Ones for Bucky but I have an extra.

_Be right there_


	75. Darcy Bucky 9

I got you a chimichanga

_Is it covered in dust and debris?_

.......No?

_Love you_

Samsies


	76. Bucky Jane 4

I'm coming home and I'm going to lift you on the counter

_As lovely as that sounds, Thor will probably be a bit upset with you_

Sorry jane


	77. Darcy Natasha Clint

Natasha you're such a creep

_How the fuck do you keep stealing my dog_


	78. Darcy Bucky 10

_Can our first dance by to String Of Pearls by Glenn Miller?  
I know you'd let me swing you across the dance floor_

Yes.

_I also know about those dance lessons, doll_

I figured

_You want to practice at the Savoy?_

I love you

 

 

 

yes


	79. Darcy Steve 6

HAHAHAHA Look at steve's two left feet

_Not Bucky.. or Natasha.. or Jane..._

Sorry Steve


	80. Darcy Wanda 3

Why is Tony blowing this out of proportion

_he's never going to have kids and wants to make up for his fathers short comings_

Did you look in his head?

_No, it is just obvious_

wow

_and Pepper loves you and is trying to convince Tony to do an adult adoption on you because you're the most likely one of us to have children_

She'd pretty much be the hottest grandma ever.

_correct!_


	81. Bucky Scott

Remember to hold her hair back   
she hates it when it falls into the toilet bowl

_I don't even want to know how you know that, Barnes_

She was part of a sorority at one point

_point_


	82. Darcy Steve 7

JANE I FOUND IT 

_Not Jane_

Steve what do you think 

_bucks mom had one like it.. there were sleeves though. saw a picture once_

so I shouldnt go try it on 

_the opposite actually_

thanks steve 

_he loves you, you know_

yeah i know


	83. Darcy Everyone  4

Jane and I are at the French Laundry  
Why the hell is Johnny Storm here.  
Seriously  
I'm going to punch him in the dick  
After this dude stops throwing him through bring walls.   
Thomas Keller doesn't look amused

_Scott, you got this?_

**Hope and I are enroute**

Oh I like Hope 

_Thanks Scott_

**NP Barnes**

Jane and I saved our Pasta so we can share

**Barnes youre one lucky SOB**

Darcy stop texting and help me get out of here


	84. Darcy Bucky 11

;) ;) ;)

_Cookie, Natasha is the best bro there is._


	85. Darcy Tony Natasha Bucky

Stole your car!

 

 

_Same rule applies, no panties in the back seat_

**She's with me, Stark**  


 

_...........I'm telling Barnes_

He's here too!

_...Am I going to have to wash my upholstery?_

**Probably**

_I don't even want to know what you get up to together_

_**Natasha is good with a video camera** _


	86. Darcy Bruce 3

_I don't know what you said to Tony but he just electrocuted himself_

SWEEEEET


	87. Darcy Jane

Beep boop beep

_Buzz?_

Beep beep

_Blip blop_

Cambodian?

_Buzz?_


	88. Darcy Bucky

Buck...We have an issue.

 

_what kind of issue_

 

I need you....  
To grab a pair of jeans and bring them to the lab

 

_Seriously?_

 

Janes dodad machine splurted oil on me

 

_Thought it was the other thing_

 

Yeah im sick of buying peroxide


	89. Bucky Steve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those feels

Steve..did I want kids.  
I feel like i wanted kids

 

_You never spoke about it..and then the war happened_

 

I think I want kids now

 

_well, your kids will definitely be cute  
Blue eyes black hair_

 

Yeah I'll have to carry around a Sig Sauer if any punks come near my little girl

 

_you trying to tell me something_

 

Naw, just rather have a little girl. I remember how much trouble.I was


	90. Darcy Scott

You want to drink tequila

_Yeah_

Im at trejos tacos

_When did you get to the west coast_

Today. 

_Louis is coming_

I hope he has a good story for me

_fuck now dont get him started_


	91. Darcy Wanda 3

_And this is why i stay out of your head_

 

Oh shit. Sorry

 

_at least you have a healthy sex life_

 

I mean... i dont mind you in there while we are.. you know... yaboy!

 

_Barnes is very appreciative of those heels, dont take them off.... also stop texting me_

 

He likes it when i bend over to text

 

_i am well aware_


	92. Darcy Natasha

I need a Pizza Dog in my life

 

_sorry we are using him in an op_

 

Please don't make out with bucky more than you need to...and like... send me photos

 

 

Did clint take that?

 

_Hope and Scott_

 

As much as i love you as a red head, i am really liking what the blond is doing for you


	93. Jane Tony

Darcy  
I havent.. you know lady timed

_MINI MOJLNIR!_

Dont open your mouth Tony not 100%


	94. Jane Tony 2

False alarm

_You pull a darcy_

Yeah. :(   
Want to check this new gyroscope?

_yuuuuuuup_


	95. Darcy Everyone

3 MONTHS BITCHES

 

YYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


	96. Pepper Tony

I can't believe you bought a whole mountain.

 

_Anything else wouldnt be good enough for my daughter, Pep_

 

But really, the whole mountain because you wanted the lodge to yourself.

 

_It will be an investment for Baby Barnes whenever she shows up_

 

Youre going to be THAT grandfather.


	97. Darcy Bucky

Jane i want to just leave New York because everyone is trying to micromanage this wedding

_Not Jane, kitten_

 

Bucky can we just leave?

_pack your bags_

Seriously?

_I never did live through the Elvis years._

You would have loved him


	98. Bucky Everyone

I dont know who keeps the rumor that Darcy is Pregnant alive... but can we have our wedding before i knock her up? My mother would rise from the dead if i knocked a dame up before our wedding.

 

Im a good catholic boy


	99. Darcy Bucky Wanda

It's like they just ignore that Helen designed my IUD To stop super soldier swimmers.

 

_Doll, they aint got nothin better to do than gossip and shoot guns_

 

And train topless

 

_even natasha?_

 

Just that once.

 

**I have never and will never take my top off for these animals**

 

_Thats because youre a classy dame_

 

**Your girl is putting on seamed stockings**

 

Thanks for ruining the surprise wanda

 

_Seriously wanda_

 

**have fun sparing with Barton**


	100. Clint Jane

NATASHA. THE FUCK DID BARNES SERIOUS HAVE A HARDIN ALL AFTRNOON

 

_not natasha_

 

Shit, sorry jane

 

_Darcy was wearing stockings today though ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_

 

Those kinky fucks  
Fastest take down ever though.

 

_go get laura to kiss your booboos better, barton_

 

Ugh wheres thor to keep you occupied

 

_¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_


	101. Darcy Clint

Look what Pepper did!  
  


 

_Seriously how you you keep getting my dog????_

 

 

_Why dont i ever get to come out and get burgers with you?_

 

Youre eating a.damn box of chinese food right now clint!  


 

_Ok. Now i know how you feel........_


	102. Coulson Clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretend its darcy. Duh

Stole your favorite civilian

 

 

_Youre alive?_

 

...that was for Fury

 

_what the fuck phil_


	103. Darcy Bucky

Natasha took a video!

 

_you'll have to be more specific, kitten_

 

NOT THOSE VIDEOS. A video of out dancing.

 

_Ive never seen a video of... me dancing_

 

Yeah.. had they even invented the video camera when you learned how to dance.

 

 

_looking good doll_

 

Not so bad yourself, cabbage head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just pretend the video is natasha videoing them and there are more people around and it getting crazy. Lots of imagination for dis


	104. Darcy Scott

Teeeequiiiiiilaaaaaa

 

_Settle down young padawan_

 

Hope is a babe sandwich

 

_yo i know right_

 

scott is kinda cute too

 

_..............not jane_

 

Haha. Oops


	105. Darcy Natasha

HAHAHAHA

JOHNNY STORM SUX

_did you punch him in the dick?_

Oops. Sry Natasha. That was for jane.

And no....... 

Hope knocked him out

_did you take video?_

OF COURSE.  
Uploaded it to Starks AI.

_and... thats why we love Hope_

And dat booty

_Telling Barnes_

Pft he does too


	106. Darcy Clint

 

_sounds awful  
Not jane_

 

Oops.

 

_Laura puts her hands up...._

 

HAHAHAHAHA


	107. Darcy Clint

  _wtf darcy_

Hahahahahahahaaha

_How did you get him this time, I know for a fact he isnt even in the US right now_

 

Laura let us borrow him

_wtf_

Theyre so cute. Wahhhhh


	108. Fury Tony

Who in their right mind introduced the two of them, Phil.

_Not phil_

_I think it was Barton_

 

Oh really......


	109. Darcy Natasha

Jane, Bucky has a hot butt.

_yes, the whole world knows this_

Sorry natasha

_bruce agrees._


End file.
